I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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