Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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