Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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