he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
