Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
