I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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