I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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