Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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