Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize