Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
