I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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