I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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