Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
