she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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