I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All I want is dick and wine.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
