I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
please don't ironically join a cult
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