We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
