I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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