The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
