come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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