THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize