i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
there's paper in my vomit.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
