I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
