i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
