She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize