Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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