just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
