a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
