and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize