i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
