OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
