So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
it was like eating out sand paper
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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