I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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