She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize