If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We need to feng shui this bitch.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
