I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
