Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
