Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize