Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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