my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
