Your mouth is God's brothel.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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