alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
