I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
