But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize