Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
