i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
