When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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