Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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