We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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