just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize