how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
