Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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