my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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