You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Of course I have a pirate flag
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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