we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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