we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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