absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
