Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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