I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
