We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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