One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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